The art of maintaining self confidence and the skill set in everyday life

How to build confidence

How to build confidence

Every single mom on the planet worries about her kids. “Are they healthy? Are they happy? How are things at school?” If these questions are to be answered in a satisfactory way, the kids must have self-confidence, which is why I have put together this short list on how you might give them that. But keep in mind that building confidence in others and inspiring them, is not just for moms but for anyone who wants to help their loved ones. Confidence is major component in being happy and enjoying life.


How to build confidence: Be an inspiring and positive mirror

Children learn to mirror their parents, including their parents’ self-confidence. If you’re not confident about yourself and what you can do in life, your child will most likely not be either. I have written other articles, where I list some easy tips on how to do that. And don’t try to fake confidence, kids can spot fake behavior right away and you’ll end up doing more harm than good.


How to build confidence: Play with them

Not just every now and then. Children need to play not only with other kids their age, but also their parents. The people that we learn the most from in our lives are our parents, and playing with your children makes them think “I am worth her time, so I must be a cherished person and what I’m doing is right”. Nothing builds confidence like feeling you mean something to those you look up to, i.e. your parents.


Encourage them to help around the house

No doubt this will bring up a warning sign in a lot of heads: “I cannot possibly put my child to work at such a small age!” But they don’t see it that way. A toddler who has an interest in vacuum cleaners would see vacuuming as a duty or job the same way that we do. To him/her, it stimulates the mind the same way that playtime does. A girl who likes napkins would not mind setting the dinner table in a fashionable way. Also, children need ways to prove their competence and feel that their contribution is appreciated. Every single child loves to make their mom or dad proud and these are ways in which you can let them do that.


Help your child make its own choices

For example by asking them if they think it’s too cold outside to wear mittens or not. Even if they say “I don’t know”, they still pondered the question in their minds. Choosing freely makes children trust themselves and feel good about it. Doing everything for our children does not help them – it rather sends them the signal that you do not trust in their ability, and how do you think that impacts their self-confidence?


Praise the effort, not the result

Excessive praise can lead the child to think they need to be perfect and never fail, and then what do you think happens when they do fail? Wanting to please one’s parents, but never feeling able to do so is probably the biggest cause of low confidence in kids. Therefore, teach them that there’s no such thing as failure, there is only progress.


For additional info, we have developed apps specifically designed to understand different personality types in children and the development they go through. Check it out! You can also read another article for more information on how to build confidence in children.

How to be confident through that presentation requires training

How to be confident

How to be confident

How to be confident part 2. In this article, I described some practical steps to take in order to boost your self confidence, and since building confidence is like building a house – it needs not only building but also maintenance lest it fall into ruin. Therefore, this article can be seen as part two where I try to describe ways in which you can maintain your newfound confidence and successfully integrate it into being a core part of your personality.

How to be confident: Stay calm

A confident person is a relaxed and calm person. Being confident in general is mostly about not being nervous and it is obviously very closely related to our self-esteem (how we view ourselves). A confident person is a person who believes they can do just about anything, and the reason for them believing so may be because they have high self-esteem. But it could also be because they have succeeded, after years of failure, in whatever they have attempted. Being calm and relaxed on a daily basis will subconsciously help you stay confident in your abilities.

How to be confident: Challenge your comfort zones

Make it a habit to regularly step out of comfort zone. That way, they expand. If you don’t challenge your comfort zones, they shrink. Your comfort zones will eventually be so wide that you won’t need to challenge them anymore.


Think only about success

Think about what happens when, not if, you succeed, and forget about what happens if you fail. Either think positive or don’t think at all.


Let your successes affect you

By remembering successes and noteworthy achievements, you will build your confidence. Let them impact you and how you see yourself. Remember other people’s praise. Don’t shutter it off by thinking it was so easy and that you don’t deserve their praise. If they praise you, it’s because they think it wouldn’t have been easy for them if they attempted the same. People often praise because they see themselves in that situation and do not think they could have done as well as you did. For example, at a piano concert, would you not clap and praise the pianist when the concert was over?And would you not cheer and praise even more if the pianist was a child of six years old? That’s because the latter is even more impressive than the former.

That being said, it is a bad idea to constantly have your nose in the air, and entertain unrealistic expectations about yourself. Arrogance is not confidence. In fact, arrogance is often uncertainty in disguise.


Pay attention to the little details

If people eat your food without wrinkling their nose, that means they like it. But how often do you actually hear people say that around the dinner table? If your boss reads your reports with half an eye and doesn’t have to read the same line twice, that means it didn’t take so much attention, which in turn means you wrote it in a very user-friendly and professional language. If your husband neither praises you, nor complains, that means he’s most likely satisfied. Silence is often an indication of a job well done.


For more on how you can increase your confidence further through practical and physical action, check out this article or download our app. Who knows what you might learn for the benefit of more than just you…

How to gain confidence

How to gain confidence

Confidence is different from self esteem. Confidence is “domain specific” which means it relates to a certain topic or area – I can have every confidence in my writing abilities, but have very little confidence in my ability to do public speaking. If you can relate to that, here are some tips on how to gain confidence in your abilities:


How to gain confidence: Preparation

If you prepare and practice enough at something, you’ll be better than people around you regardless of what it is. If you are going to have a major presentation in front of an audience, prepare what you are going to say in advance. A lot. Become so good at it that you know you’re the best. Then it will be more like you teaching something to other people instead of a presentation. The more you prepare and practice, the better your confidence will be.


How to gain confidence: Don’t be too hard on yourself

You will always be harder on yourself than anyone else. Very few people will care if you make mistakes and most people won’t even notice. Hell, if you make a presentation in a meeting at work or in front of classmates in school, odds are that some won’t even listen but rather think about what they’re going to have for dinner that night. And if they don’t care, neither should you. Also, stop thinking in terms of failure. There is no such thing as failure. There is only progress. As Michael Jordan once said, “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”


You’ve been through worse

Remind yourself that you have been through worse. Imagine climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. That monstrosity of almost 20,000 feet might seem very taunting. Now imagine a person who has already climbed Mount Everest, which is almost 30,000 feet and requires specific equipment like oxygen tanks, ropes and spike shoes. For that person, Kilimanjaro is like a walk in the park, right? Now imagine a person who is about to make a presentation to ten of his co-workers, but last week he spoke to the entire United Nations congregation. Suddenly this presentation is just peanuts, right? The point is this: if we keep challenging ourselves and remember our achievements in life, if we keep reminding ourselves that we have been through a lot worse, nothing will really seem difficult and daunting.


Other things you can try

For further reading on how to be confident in general, i.e. in everything you do, we have another article dealing with just that. We also have an app for iPhone and Android for just that purpose!

Self confidence quotes

Self confidence quotes

Do you feel like you lack self confidence? Let these people and their quotes inspire you!


Self confidence quotes: “Believe you can, and you’re halfway there.”

Theodore “Teddy” Roosevelt was a president who knew how to take action. During the Battle of Las Guasimas, which was part of the Spanish-American War, he and his forces were tasked with taking Kettle Hill which was garrisoned by Spanish troops. Facing heavy fire, Teddy and his men quickly became pinned down. After a while, however, he got on his horse and simply charged off like a suicidal lunatic against the Spanish position under a hail of bullets. His men soon followed and the Hill was taken. That’s because they were already halfway there, as Teddy believed they could do it.


Self confidence quotes: “You have to laugh, especially at yourself.”

We all know how important it is to laugh, but have you ever thought about laughing at yourself? Madonna knew the importance of that. When other people laugh at us, that’s when we feel sad or insulted and lonely, but that’s because the laughter creates a distance between you and them. Try laughing along with them. You’ll see. Taking ourselves less seriously makes it easier to handle failure because we realize that failure doesn’t matter.


“Public opinion is a weak tyrant compared with our own private opinion.”

Henry David Thoreau’s point is very thought-provoking: do you feel sad, insulted and embarrassed because people laugh at you? No, you feel sad, insulted and embarrassed because people laughing at you makes you think certain things about yourself. That what you did was wrong, that you’re not good at what you’re attempting, etc. People who are confident in themselves are not affected by other people’s opinion. Therefore, a key to confidence is positive opinion about ourselves.


“Inhale confidence, exhale doubt.”

If you ever feel nervous or doubt whether you can do it, just close your eyes for a moment and take deep breaths, repeating these words in your head. As you inhale, say “inhale confidence”, and as you exhale, say “exhale doubt”. Imagine that confidence and doubt are physical entities that can enter your body, and this mantra is guaranteed to work.


“The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.”

Thomas Paine influenced not only the American Revolution, but also the French Revolution. Surely, these triumphs were glorious because they were hard to achieve. You may not face the same challenges as the revolutionaries, but the point is still valid: the harder it is to do something, the better the rewards will be. Look forward to that.

How to be more confident

How to be more confident

Do you find it difficult to direct your thoughts onto success rather than failure? Or to not be hard on yourself? I have written another article on how to build confidence by changing your perspective and the way at which you approach life, but if you want to start out with some more practical steps, I have put together a little list:


Clean up your desk.

Mess creates stress, and both are among the biggest hindrances to being confident. If you clean up things and put things into order, you will be amazed at the overview you’ll suddenly have. And this will give you a sense of being in control of things and thus build your confidence.



Do something you’ve been postponing. Has something been on your mind for some time, but you haven’t gotten around to do it? Just do it, and you’ll see how good it feels that not only is it done and not pestering you anymore, but also that you can get things out of the way. Being able to say “I did it!” is a big confidence-booster.



Every single guide to confidence on the web includes this and that’s because we all know it works. Science has proven that exercise increases your motivation, energy, willpower, confidence and scores of other benefits. So if you’d like more motivation to get things done, take a walk a couple of times a week. It also helps clearing your thoughts, which in turn will increase your sense of control over your life, which in turn will make you feel more confident in yourself and your abilities.


Stand tall

The mind is irreversibly connected to the body in a symbiotic relationship. Whatever one does affects the other. So standing tall is the body’s way of convincing the mind to be more confident. Just try it. You’ll see.


Make an effort to look good

Groom and dress nicely. This may seem like an obvious daily task that you would do anyway, but have you ever thought about the ramifications? If you dress nicely and look presentable, people will take you more seriously. And if people take you seriously, it means you are worth something to them. Think about that. You mean something to them and what you do holds value. They would be worse off without you.


Additional information on How to be more confident

For more on how to further grow and develop your personal confidence, check out this article!